1. The Golden Rule
We do not issue refunds because you had a change of heart, because your ex blocked you, or because your coworker reported your mug to HR. Once an order is placed, the printing presses start running, and the ammunition is loaded. There is no going back.
2. Defects & Misprints Only
If your product arrives physically torn, broken, or misprinted (meaning the text is literally illegible), email us a photo within 14 days of delivery. If our quality control team agrees that we messed up, we will ship you a replacement. We will not refund you; we will just replace the weapon.
3. Size Exchange Failures
We print everything on demand. If you ordered a Small but you're actually a Large, that is a personal geometry error. Give the shirt to a smaller, equally irritated friend. We do not do size exchanges.
4. Return Shipping
In the highly unlikely event that a return is approved, you are responsible for paying for the return shipping. We will not fund your regrets.